CANCER: Satire To A Shameless Killer by Adeyemi Oshunrinade


Diane Aulger was just two weeks from her delivery date when she realized her husband Mark had just few days left to live. Mark wanted to see his daughter so both decided there was no time to wait; the labor was induced and Diane gave birth to a baby girl Jan 18. Little Savannah was placed in Mark’s arms for the first time, he cried feeling sad he would not see her grow; the feelings came true when Mark died five days after the birth of Savannah, he died from complications due to Cancer treatment.

Mark Aulger 52, from Texas was diagnosed with Colon Cancer in April; he underwent surgery and after six month of chemotherapy, he looked better and his family thought the surgery was successful but then, he began to have breathing problems which got him back in the emergency room. Mark had developed Pulmonary Fibrosis causing a thickening in the lungs. On January 16, his doctor delivered the bad news; he had just few days left.

Baby Savannah was due January 29, and Diane had planned a natural delivery, she had been having pre-labor symptoms so, when her doctor suggested induced labor, she agreed to enable Mark see his baby before his death. Mark held baby Savannah for 45 minutes after her birth January 18 and on January 21, Mark went into a coma and succumbed to Cancer two days later; Mark and Diane have two other children ages 10 and 7. Diane also has two other kids ages 15 and 13.

The Aulger’s story is reminiscent of what you do everyday Cancer; you deserve this satire because once again you have taken a father from his family; you have denied a wife of her husband, you robbed baby Savannah of the right to know her father and you have denied her siblings the right to have their father take them to the altar; you have also caused an entire family the pain of burying their loved one untimely but aren’t you ashamed of yourself Cancer? Why do you enjoy causing pain and misery? And why are you so stubborn with no cure?

The aim here is not to express fear but rather, to expose your evil deeds to the entire world and to attack you with a satire you deserve, for the evil you have caused mankind. You are unwilling to budge but rather to cause death and unhappiness. You brought sorrow to Ben and Kathy a newlywed; they have just learnt Kathy has breast Cancer and both breasts are scheduled to be removed, you will not stop at anything but rejoice at destroying the joy of marriage and attacking a newlywed with your tumor. So what is your gain Cancer? Why do you have no shame Cancer? And why do you rejoice at death and disfigurement?

You have made yourself enemy of the whole world; in fact you have no friend. You are not like water that has no enemy; we bath with water, we drink water daily, we cook with water and everything we do in life, we use water because water has no enemy but Cancer, you are enemy of the universe; no one wants to relate with you and no one wants you in their organs why? You are the carrier of death and wherever you are found, you spread like wildfire until you bring death to your host. Why do you attack indiscriminately? Why do you lack mercy? Why do you have no remorse?

You have just robbed Christine of her livelihood, a well known supermodel proud of her blonde hair and the perfect body, the envy of everyone around her; Christine has lost her entire hair to chemotherapy because you attacked her blood cells and have spread all over her body with your tumors; she can no longer work as a model because of your evil deeds, you have taken her beauty away and now she must walk around with wigs over what was once her blonde hair.

Cathy was born just last week and had to be buried few days ago why? She was born with a cancer in her heart; you have attacked her indiscriminately. You did not care that she was a baby and you have no sympathy for her parents; both just learnt they can’t have another child and must live with the possibility of not having a biological child of their own. You have denied them the right of parenthood because of your tumor found in their baby’s heart. Cancer, why do you find solace in misery? You are an embarrassment to mankind; you have denied the entire world of your cure but you can’t deny the world of bringing you to shame.

Daniel has just lost both kidneys to Cancer, he can no longer function independently without the help of tubes; his health is failing and he is expected to transition in a matter of weeks. You have chosen to attack his kidneys and soon, you will take him away from his grandchildren and he will never again hear them call him grandpa. Why do you lack care? Why are you so hateful and unfriendly to the human race? Your victims wished you were not abstract, they would have taken you by the throat and deliver you to the court for prosecution. Nonetheless, you deserve this satire to expose your evils and to allow your victims and the entire world opportunity to laugh at your misdeeds.

Cancer you care less, you attack every organ in the human body; you are found in the blood, you attack the duodenum, you are not foreign to the spleen, you attack the lungs, you attack the womb and care less about the human heart. Medical records revealed you also attack the skin and you are found in the stomach but why can’t you be like food? Food gives energy, too much of it makes us fat but it never kills; it is fuel for the body and makes people look good and healthy in fact, food has no enemy. As for you Cancer, the entire world is disgusted by you for the sorrow and misery you have caused.

Many of your victims are asking why you hate them so much to inflict them with your cells; why are you not like love? Love is the greatest thing on earth and while love is abstract, it brings people together and it does not hate; but Cancer, you go about with hatred, spreading your tentacles wherever you can and killing after serious damage to the human organ. The entire world desire you be ashamed of yourself for choosing hate over love and for leaving your victims to die without a cure.

The satire is for you Cancer, it is meant to expose you and to give the entire world the opportunity to laugh at you. It is time for your victims to do away with their fears, there is nothing you can do that you have not done before; research in the field of medicine is ongoing to find your cure and with unity and dedication your victims worldwide will break your back. Here is your satire Cancer and hope you have the courage to bear the shame and embarrassment.

Dr. Adeyemi Oshunrinade [E. JD] is an expert in general law, foreign relations, and the United Nations. He is the author of ‘Murder of Diplomacy’ (2010) and ‘Wills Law and Contests’ (2011) Follow on Twitter @san0670.


Categories: Hospitality, Humanitarian

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2 replies

  1. The Satire is one of the myth of life, Sickle cell anemia,HIV, and many more. One of the man i love so much, a French Man with Michelin Plantation died last week due to the dreaded disease cancer. In Moscow, on e of the few people that love me so much Stephanie Curtis, a Briton told me she may soon die of the disease. However , as i stated , death is inevitable as people lose their life daily by the second all over the World. You might ask, why do we die? why do People in Syria and Libya have to die for a sin they never commit? why do people watch their sons and daughter die in the War in Iraq either as American Soldiers or …… Its the Why question and may be satirical too to state that Cancer is evil, but some things are just beyond human comprehension. Just yesterday, a maddening storm hit Lagos, properties and people died, not because they wanted that to happen, but like the tsunami case, it was beyond them


    • Thanks Peter
      Agree with you many things are beyond human comprehension but unfortunately, that is just the way it is and we must continue to live as such. What we can do is to love one another as love is greater than anything on earth; the satire is meant to remove fear of the disease and to give the victims worldwide some hope and to create awareness for research on a cure. As unrealistic as it may look, I strongly believe it will touch hearts and provide some psychological healing for victims of this deadly scourge among us.


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